Pushing Through When the Team's Against You

Hey there, friend,

Thanks for coming out to another Tuesday Evening Chat. You really do humor me - I hope you get something out of these little posts, something that helps you through your week. But it's a pleasure to have you again. Let's talk about teams.

Aren't they terrible? Aren't they great?

A bit of a paradoxical statement, I realize, but when we work with other people we either have it awesome or we can have it pretty bad. Those of us in college wish our colleagues well when we hear they have three or four group projects in a semester, and those of us working can know how disheartening it can be to be in an unmotivated team. What's the point? we can ask. We put all this effort in sometimes, seemingly for nothing. Perhaps there are even days when you, my friend, have been tempted to curl up in a small ball and cry because of the Group Project Tribulations.

That's when it's time to realize we've got to stop having pity parties, pick up, and keep going. It's the worst thing, to force oneself out of one's pity parties. They're fun, aren't they? Ya sit there and feel miserable with you, yourself, and, well, you, and nothing - zero - gets done. Nothing is bettered by it, nothing is consumed by it except for your happy thoughts and your joy, and at the end of the day, nothing has gotten done. It can be so easy to give up on an unmotivated team, or slack at a group project in school. But there's an old proverb that comes to mind that I'd like to remind you about concerning this kind of a situation.

"Seest thou a man diligent in his business? 

He shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men."

What kind of a person are you? Do you fold under exceptional or antagonizing circumstances, or do you stand up and give your best effort no matter what the situation is? How willing are you to be diligent, even if that means picking up the phone and calling your teammates every time there's a deadline, or being the leader (and organizer, and accountant, and pep squad, and janitor, and mother, and father, etc., ad infinitum) for this situation you've found yourself in? 

Not very! we might want to say. Not me! I don't have to do all the work. I shouldn't have to do all the work.

But will you choose to be diligent?

You and I have the responsibility to ourselves, and to our fellow human beings, to give 100% of who we are and what we can offer at every opportunity. It doesn't matter what you're going through, it doesn't matter how choppy the waters are - the only thing that matters is how we pull through.

That proverb says, Those who are diligent in their work will stand before kings, they will not stand before mean men. Why? Because kings do not have lazy people working for them. Kings do not have illiterate slobs on their projects, people who will conform to a group culture of sloth or indolence, 

Sloth. You're Welcome. Creative Commons, Wikipedia.

folks who won't be on time or prepared when it's their turn to speak. Just want kind of person are you? And who are you seen to be?

When we choose diligence we choose to shine in the midst of darkness. Human beings are not made for inaction - we're not made for pity parties and misery, for sitting around doing nothing. If you're in a team with people you can't count on, if you're in a group and the people don't care, put on your adulting pants and get a move on - there's no time to waste. Everyone is watching you, all the time, evaluating you and what kind of person you will choose to be. You know what, my friend? I think you can choose to shine if you want to. But no one is going to pick up and shine for you.

The thing is, once we choose to be diligent - that's when we get to have fun. That's when we're in with the greats, working on amazing things, inspiring things, working on the dreams we wish to breathe into life. You can do this. You always could do this. You are not the measure of the people around you: you are the measure of you. So step out and be excellent, because you were not made to be anything more, nor anything less.

Hugs and kisses,

KK

Hello, Friend. Let's Talk.

Hello, Friend,

Thanks for sitting down and reading this with me. I can't tell you how much it means to me that we can spend a little time together here...good times with good friends seem scarce some days. But I want to talk to you about those friends, because they can be the backbone of our lives.

You might be the class wallflower, or you might be constantly surrounded by people. "You know everyone!" they tell you, and you might wonder, Really? But we have all had those days where we wake up in the morning and look around, and it seems like no one is there for us. We walk our streets and wander our halls, so full of people, but empty and meaningless all the same. Why? Because there are those days when it seems that of all the people you know and talk to, no one actually cares about you.

It can actually be more lonely sometimes to be one of those "popular ones," can't it? You know who you are - the constant presence of people can make it all the more obvious that there are precious few that you can really lean on in times of trouble. But they are all more valuable for that, all the same. For the quiet ones, you know the value of the friend who can be quiet with you and just listen to your heart. What is the worth of a friend? More than silver or gold, than precious stones or gems. And that's why the really good ones are hard to find - they're a treasure that we should always keep close to our hearts.

Friend, you might have checked outside your window today and listened to the wind whistling past, thinking that you had no one who would love to spend time with you right at this moment. But let me assure you that those who value you most are always there - no matter how close or how far away they are, their presence is a secure thing for you. You see, love has no boundaries, and the love of a friend is faithful...you can rest in the promise of that love. Your family is there for you too, even if you don't think of them - we can take our closest friends for granted, and not even realize that they're there.

And on those days when your close friends are scattered to the four winds, hang tight: there's always a treasure coming. We might not know when or how, but inevitably those key people will show up to brighten your day right when you least expected it - and most likely right when you start wondering where they are. Life is a voyage, and we sail to find those closest to us. We just don't always know the how or the when.

So, my friend, are you feeling lonely? Hoist your sails and remember, life is a journey and a dream. Your best days are coming, and your best friends are, too.

Much Love,
KK

Walking in the Shadow of Death

Creative Commons. Credit to Blacklord.

You.

You know who you are. You know where you are, you know what you're living, and you know what kind of hell you're going through.

I'm here to remind you that there's hope.

Everyone has been to a funeral at some point in their life. I'm a Christian, and so the ones I've been to have always been in a church. Generally, they'll read Psalm 23 from the Bible: "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want."

Somewhere in there it starts talking in a familiar verse about walking "through the valley of the shadow of death." Is that where you are right now? It's a scary place to be, with lots of voices telling you sorrowful things. The secrets of your past can rave at you from there, the shame and the anguish and the unspeakable horrors that haunt your nights. Who did something to you that you cannot confess? Who hurt you, who touched you, who scarred your heart? Who violated the core of the fabric of your being and left you in tatters?

You are not a shred of cloth to be thrown away with impunity. You are a person of great value, and no one might have told you that those who walk through the valley have a great backup team.

"...Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: 

For Thou art with me: Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me."

You can fear no evil. Why?

Because "Thou art with me."

There is someone who irrevocably, unrepentantly, eternally, and graciously will always have your back. Probably several someones, if you take a look around. For me, my "Thou" is God, and He's my strong tower - but we're not talking about me, we're talking about you. Maybe you don't believe in my God, and that's ok. You have a "Thou" somewhere too, who is waiting to help you.

Learn this: when you go through your valley, when the shadows are long, it's ok to cry out for help.

It's ok to cry out, because that is strength, not weakness; fortitude, and not surrender. There is someone with you, someone who will hold your hand. Maybe it's a brother, father, mother, sister, friend, relative, auntie, who knows - maybe even a stranger on the street.

We are here. And we will comfort you.

We, the collective we, the people who walk by you and see your beauty, your sass, your smarts, your splendor, your intelligence and zing. We will stand by you, support you, accept you, council you, put you in your proper place where you can represent you. There is no one else who can be you, or offer to the world what you can. You are a treasure, and above all things to be cherished. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Today has sorrows enough of itself - but you never will walk through the darkness on your own. And even if it looks like all your friends are turned away, remember this: that all of the world is just waiting for you to take up the banner, the standard of you, waiting for you to plant your feet and say, I will move on. 

We need you. We cannot replace you, and would never want to.

Learn this: You can fear no evil because all of us believe in you. Believe, if not in a higher power, that there is a great reason for which you walk this glorious earth, that you have a great purpose, and a great future. And remember that the Psalm that has marked death for centuries can be your war cry: I will fear no evil, for I have a backup team.

Psalm 23

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: 

For thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: 

Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: 

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever."

Hello Again, Everyone.

It has been a long, long time since I wrote on this blog. I think I know the reason why.

My life is interesting, but it's not that interesting. That is to say, I don't really need to tell people about all of my adventures - if you know me, you'll either figure those adventures out soon enough, or you were a part of them to begin with! I keep a diary these days, so my life is on record, and I also journal my business exploits for an entrepreneurship class, so that's a lot of introspection right there. But I don't think my life is of much benefit to the world in terms of marketing or cost-benefit analysis or opinions on the government. I think folks might be much better suited if I started talking about them.

I thought for a long time that I really understood what makes me tick, but it was back in 2014 that it clicked into place: I love people. I see your value, I see your struggles, I see your dreams, and I want to dream right along with you. I see the beauty in you, dear reader, and it is a treasure to me. Therefore, from now on I have decided to write about you. Won't you do me the privilege of reading what I have to say?

Check back on Tuesdays for updates. I don't know why Tuesdays specifically, but it's far enough into the week after that horror known as Monday that maybe someone will still need a pick-me-up to keep them going until Friday. Until then, know this: I believe in you.